Stan Lee

Narrator

Judah Friedlander

The World Champion

Lloyd Kaufman

Lee Harvey Herzkauf

Catherine Corcoran

Lauren

Asta Paredes

Chrissy

Clay von Carlowitz

Eugene

Kyle Rappaport

Dancing Boy

Debbie Rochon

Coach Kotter

Brenda Rickert

Aunt Bee

Leesa Rowland

Victoria

Lemmy Kilmister

The President

Zac Amico

Zack

Vito Trigo

Leonardo

Mike Baez

Donatello

Tara E. Miller

Rachel

Babette Bombshell

Principal Westly

Stefan Dezil

Slater

Rick Collins

Ron Simms

Gabriela Fuhr

Kelly

Caleb Emerson

Peanutch (Metal Detector Guard)

William Dreyer

Arnold

Mark Quinnette

Michaelangelo

Adam P. Murphy

Mr. Chips

Josh Potter

Jock / The Toxic Avenger

Derek Dressler

Writer