Pilot

Dave volunteers to help coach his older son's soccer team.

The Insecurity System

Beth buys a security system after Shel's van is stolen.

Martian Death Flu

Everyone has the flu.

The Anniversary Schmaltz

On their 14th anniversary, Beth and Dave finally decide to have a romantic celebration alone.

The Great Mandala of Life

The dog eats Tommy's homework -- which happens to be a frog; and Kenny tries to get Dave to buy more life insurance from the agent he's dating.

I Sort of Saw What You Did

Willie loses a tooth before the tooth fairy can collect it; Kenny persuades Dave to lie to an insurance adjuster.

It's a Small Van After All

A weekend trip to Walt Disney World turns ugly.

Heatwave

In the middle of a heat wave, Beth tries to help Dave set up his fax machine and ends up blowing out the air conditioner.

Writer's Block

Tommy is crushed when Dave tries to overcome writer's block by writing a column about Tommy's crush on a girl at school.

Educating Rita

An attempt to set Kenny up with Beth's friend Rita backfires.

Death and Mom Take a Holiday

Beth's mother visits, bearing an unusual Christmas gift.

Exorcising with Dave Barry

The eccentric owner of a hardware store throws a monkey wrench into Dave's plans to fix a broken door when he tells Dave that the Barry house is haunted.

I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus (1)

Pandemonium reigns at the Barry house before Christmas as Beth contemplates returning to work; Dave has to take a driving test; and both desperately search for a toy for Willie. (Part 1 of 2)

I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus (2)

Through a series of mishaps, the Barrys are reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. (Part 2 of 2)

Just Kidding

Dave gets into a heap of trouble after he writes a derogatory column about used-car salesmen.

The Road Taken

Dave does not approve when Shel suddenly decides to sell his house, buy a boat and sail the Caribeean.

Shel in Love

Valentine's Day finds Tommy happy about getting a card from a girl he likes; and Shel on his first date since his divorce.

Four Characters in Search of a Ring

Dave and Kenny take Shel to a singles bar.

Lost Weekend

Dave and Beth try to spend a romantic weekend away from the boys.

Rat Story

After Beth goes back to work at her teaching job, Dave learns a lesson about housework.

Six Years Old and All Washed Up

Dave is offended when Willie's kindergarten teacher suggests that Willie be held back a year.

The Funeral (a.k.a.) Funeral Episodes

If ever Beth would leave Dave when he's sick, it would be to see the musical ""Camelot"" -- or to attend the funeral of an aunt she barely knew.

Saved By Estelle

Shel must spend the weekend with his ex-wife and her boyfriend.

I Lost It at the Movies

A night at the movies finds Dave and Beth trying not to interfere with Tommy's first date - and Kenny trying to convince friends that he's meeting Emma Samms there.

The Last Auction Hero

Mia quits her job; Shel is auctioned at a hospital fund raiser.

A Room With a View

Tommy's treehouse allows a view of the neighbours' bedroom.

Please Won't You Be My Neighbor

After Shel's car is broken into -- again -- Dave and Beth join the neighbourhood-watch program.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Dave certainly gets no satisfaction from his search for Rolling Stones tickets. Meanwhile, Mia runs the first draft of her children's book by a tough critic -- Willie.

Gone with the Wind (1)

On Willie's sixth birthday, Hurricane Ashley strikes Miami, forcing the Barrys and their friends to take cover. (Part 1 of 2)

Gone with the Wind (2)

The Barrys copes with the aftermath of the hurricane: no water, no power, a tree in their bedroom, and Shel as a demanding houseguest. (Part 2 of 2)

Lobster Envy

Tommy is hit by a car while trick-or-treating.

Family Membership

Dave and Beth join a health club to help Tommy overcome his dread of gym class, while Shel lies about his family status to get a discount membership.

One Mump or Two?

Dave learns about the downside of bachelor life when a quarantine forces him to spend a few days with Kenny; meanwhile, Beth's sister stays with the Barrys after leaving her husband.

The Donor Party

When Shel's irresponsible younger brother Bobby comes to visit, Shel assumes it's to ask him for money . But this time Bobby's needs are more serious: he's ill and wants Shel to donate a kidney.

How Long Has This Been Going On?

Beth and Julie are shocked to learn their mom is still sexually active and has been spending some romantic quality time with a delivery man.

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

After revealing his greatest regret on national TV, Dave is confronted by the man whose life he feel s he ruined -- a fellow reporter he scooped years ago who is now homeless.

Dis Who's Coming to Dinner?

The Barrys' dinner party is even worse than Dave and Beth anticipated, as Shel tries to break up with his girlfriend, and Kenny and Julie desert the party to spend some quality time together.

A Pool's Paradise

A feud with a snooty neighbour may sink the Barrys' efforts to build a pool, while Kenny tries to tre ad water in his relationship with Julie.

Bear With Me

Dave and Beth will stop at nothing to get Willie's lost toy bear Barnaby back for him -- even if it means fighting with the parents of the suspected thief.

A Cut Above the Rest

After Beth has a pregnancy scare, Dave considers getting a vasectomy -- much to the horror of Kenny and Shel.

The Country Girl

The Barrys are enchanted with their new French exchange student -- even after a little misunderstand involving Willie's pet rabbit, which she naturally views as potential dinner.

The Accidental Tourists

Dave, Shel, and Kenny travel to Paris to fulfill a deceased college buddy's final request -- to have his ashes scattered from the Eiffel Tower.

The Joint Venture

Dave and Beth's risky land investment goes to pot, so to speak, when they discover marijuana growing on the site.

Those Wedding Shel Blues

Nightmare on Maple Street

Kenny dumps Julie, but Dave and Beth must break the news to her, which leaves Julie wanting to be ""near family"" -- by moving next door to the Barrys.

The Mommies

On Mother's Day, Dave's family and friends recall past celebrations -- including the time Kenny's mother questioned his sexual orientation.

Piano, No Strings

Dave discovers Tommy has a gift for playing the piano and encourages him to join the school orchestra, but Tommy wants to be low key about his talent.

Tommy Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Tommy runs away to live with Kenny when his parents won't let him see a gory film.

Cleanliness is Next to Nakedness

Beth's plan to surprise Dave in the shower backfires.

It's Not About That . . .

Construction of the new neighbour's house disturbs the peace; a commitment-shy Eric turns to Dave and the guys when his relationship with Mia hits a snag -- prompting Kenny to consider ""enhancement"" surgery.

You Must(ang) Remember This

The Barrys and friends take a ride down memory lane as Dave debates whether to sell his 1965 Mustang; Tommy and Willie scheme to augment their allowance.

What the Early Bird Gets

A convention-bound Shel reluctantly entrusts his beloved luxury car to Dave -- who is then held responsible for the good doctor's unpaid parking tickets.

Do the Write Thing

Mia enrolls in the writing class Dave teaches at community college.

Death of a Saleswoman

A neighbor's boasting about how much school candy his son has sold leaves a bitter taste in Beth's mouth, so she determines that Willie's sales will be just as sweet.

Writing Wrongs

Is truth stranger than fiction? Dave's about to find out when Tommy takes issue with his father's first major work, a serio-comic memoir about Dave's wild and crazy youth.

Catch of the Day

Eric flounders when his father returns from a fishing trip with a different sort of catch -- a new girlfriend.

Health Hath No Fury

Kenny's ""cardiac event"" inspires Beth to change the Barrys' eating habits -- and to drag Dave to a shady lawyer in order to draft a new will.

Leave a Mystery at the Beep

An enigmatic answering machine message from a lovelorn sailor sends Beth scurrying to find the man and reunite him with his girl; Dave hunts his stolen laptop, which contains several of his columns.

The Green-Eyed Monster

A fire forces Mia and Eric to temporarily move in with the Barrys, but the blaze that wrecked their house is nothing compared to the sparks that fly betwee Julie and Eric.

Working Stiffs

When Kenny becomes a victim of ""corporate downsizing,"" Dave tries to get his friend's job back by talking to the boss, who tells him the real reason Kenny was let go.

Pardon My Nuptuals

The IRS informs Dave and Beth that their marriage isn't legally valid, an occasion that calls for a visit to the hippie ""minister"" who married them -- but who never filed their marriage license.

Gator Bait

Stressed-out Dave sees an alligator in the backyard.

Those Who Do Be Do Be Do

Teacher Beth regrets lecturing to her loved ones when her advice sends Duke weightlifting, Shel and Mia skydiving, and promps Kenny to turn down a great job opportunity.

Fame

Dave enjoys, then soon tires of, his 15 minutes of fame after a new publicity campaign for his column finds his face plastered on billboards all over Miami.

Loves Me Like a Rock

Dave abandons the long-standing Barry tradition of not celebrating Valentine's Day when he decides to purchase a romantic -- and costly -- gift.

Nuts and Bolts

Eric and Mia's domestic squabbles spark a fight in the Barry house when Dave reluctantly -- and foolishly -- reveals things about Beth that annoy him.

My Girl

Shel frets when his girlfriend bonds with Beth.

Stayin' Alive

Dave finds he's alienated both his friends after he wins an award that Shel coveted, then decides to make his own recording of his book rather than let Kenny do it.

Do You Want to Know a Secret?

Mia's new obsession with astrology has Eric wishing she'd be more down-to-earth; Kenny turns snoop to discover wh at plastic surgery Shel performed on his new girlfriend; and Tommy confesses a minor crime to Willie.

Double Fault

To earn the favor of a socialite and secure a sizable donation to the hospital, Shel serves up famous writer Dave Bary at a celebrity tennis benefit, despite the fact that Dave himself refuses to pay.

Don't Blame Me

Dave gives Eric a three-day deadline to build a sun deck.

The Good Doctor

Pediatrician Celia's skill in the ER -- performing emergency surgery on a little girl injured in a bicycle accident -- makes plastic surgeon Shel feel useless as a doctor, so he decides to make some changes in his personal and professional life. He starts by proposing to Celia.

L.A. Times

Dave plugs his new book in Hollywood, along with a starstruck Shel, whose Tinseltown experience dims after a spat with Carly.

It's Not About That, Either

Teacher Beth regrets lecturing to her loved ones when her advice sends Dave weightlifting, Shel and Mia sky diving, and promps Kenny to turn down a great job opportunity.

Based on a True Story

When Dave's column about Shel's childhood is picked by the head of Paragon Pictures to be a feature film, Beth urges Dave to take Shel on as a writing partner for the screenplay. Dave has never been able to ""work or play well with others"" since kindergarten and he's never had a writing partner. Beth gently reminds him of his speech to Tommy and Willie about brothers sharing and that he's always said he and Shel are like brothers. Meanwhile, Mia wants Eric to learn to swim so they can honeymoon in Hawaii and Kenny volunteers to be Eric's swimming coach. However, Mia discovers that the pool pep squad is a bevy of beautiful girl bent on ogling Eric. Guest Brandon Tartikoff formerly served as President of NBC Entertainment, Chairman of NBC Entertainment Group and Chairman of Paramount Pictures.

Solitaire

With Beth and the boys away for the weekend, Dave savors the time alone to do as he pleases -- if only he can get his friends to stop trying to keep him company. Dave's weekend is filled with all the things dearest to his heart: naps, television, beer, pretzels and not bathing. However, Mia and Eric want his expertise on where they should honeymoon, while Shel and Kenny are certain that all this time alone isn't good for Dave. Meanwhile, Beth learns that she is the last to know that Tommy has discovered girls in the form of the beautiful Angela when she chaperones his class on a field trip to see a space shuttle launch.

Missed Manners

""Is it me, or did people used to be nicer to each other?"" Dave wonders, after Beth's insulted on the road and Shel has several run-ins with an obnoxious waiter who's out to get him.

Crime and Coconuts

Dave grounds Tommy for a prank the child insists he didn't commit. Then Eric's father, Eric Jr., invites the gang to the Coconut Strip Club for Eric's bachelor party, where they wind up in a brawl and get a taste of injustice themselves before a judge who hates celebrities, especially colunists. Meanwhile, Eric begs the guys to convince Mia he was forced to accompany them to the club.

Miami Beached

When Dave, Shel and Kenny are sentenced to do community service at the beach as a result of the fight at Eric's bachelor party, a Cuban refugee drags himself out of the water and the boys must decide what to do with him. Dave takes the refugee, Juan, home with him and tries to introduce him to the Dave Barry version of what it means to be an American: lots of naps, snacks and television. Juan's desire to work hard and become a citizen gets Dave thinking about his grandparents and what life was like for them when they came to the United States from Ireland. Meanwhile, Eric isn't sure he wants to give Juan a job, especially in light of Mia's enthusiastic reaction to the refugee's good looks.

Daveberry, RFD

When Dave's home town of Pewauketucket, Ohio, honors him with the key to the city, Dave and Beth begin to think that it might be a better place to live than crime-ridden Miami. With Dave mourning the theft of his prize Mustang from right in front of their Miami home, he and Beth begin to look at Pewauketucket, with its safe streets, clear air and good schools, as a possible new home. However, Shel is more interested in the antiques he can buy cheaply from the locals, who he thinks won't know their real value, and Kenny is worrying that his prom night romance years ago may have produced the young hotel bartender who looks a lot like him. Meanwhile, Mia and Eric are babysitting for Tommy and Willie at home and Eric gets his own taste of what it might be like to be a father.

A Very Barry Pumpkin Show

The Barrys and their friends get caught up in the past as they try to relive their best childhood Halloween memories. Dave, determined that his boys will be able to pick a jack-o-lantern from a real pumpkin patch, the way he did when he was growing up in the Midwest, hovers over his pumpkin patch like a mother hen over an egg. Meanwhile, Mia tricks Kenny into helping her bake by convincing him that kneading dough is the ultimate sensual experience. And, when an elderly neighbor says she will give Shel a dilapidated player piano, his memories of a Halloween long ago make him determined to restore the instrument no matter what the cost.

Falling

When Dave meets an attractive female fan who invites him back to her apartment to ""talk about writing,"" Shel and Kenny are certain that Dave will be seduced if he goes. While Dave, Shel and Kenny are out of town visiting friends, Dave sees the beautiful Lisa reading his book. After introducing himself, he is overwhelmed by her enthusiastic praise and her excitement at meeting him. Before he knows it, she has given him her address and they have a date to meet at her home that night. Even though he later thinks better of it, Dave doesn't want to stand her up, as Kenny and Shel advise. Meanwhile, Beth is home dealing with a house badly in need of repair and a determination to show Dave that she is just as capable of dealing with contractors as he is.

Stress

Beth's decision to use the repair job on the kitchen and master bedroom as a reason to completely redecorate the house puts a major strain on the Barrys' marriage. Ever since structural damage plunged their bedroom into the kitchen, Dave and Beth have been camping out in the living room, which has put a definite crimp in their love life and stress on their marriage. Now with Eric and Eric Jr. practically living with them, blundering through the repairs, things go from bad to worse. But, when Beth goes against Dave's wishes and hires a decorator to redo the entire house, the fighting really escalates. Meanwhile, when Mia and Eric step in to help, they discover that it is really they who are the incompatible ones and split up.

Starr Tours

Dave sees a way to meet his favorite '60s British rock star, Peter Noone, when Eric begins repairs on the man's Florida mansion. After Eric leaves Dave's bathroom sink still spouting water like Old Faithful in favor of a repair job at a rock star's house, Dave is furious until he discovers just who that rock star is. Then all he can think about is getting inside the mansion to walk in the footsteps of his idol. With Beth and the boys in tow, he cons Eric into letting him inside, and all goes well until Dave finds himself stuck in an embarrassing predicament. Meanwhile, Mia and Eric continue to try the ""friends"" thing now that they have discovered they are incompatible.

The Importance of Missing Earnest

When Willie leaves Earnest, the family bloodhound, at the park by accident, all the Barrys and their friends come together for ""Operation Find Earnest."" The kids are heartbroken over the loss of the dog, and Dave and friends go to great lengths to find him. Kenny and Shel help to draw the missing dog flyers and Mia uses her psychic abilities only to discover that Kenny is about to meet the girl of his dreams. But when Earnest is finally found, new problems surface that may keep the Barrys from their family pet forever.

Does the Whale Have to Be White?

Dave writes a scathing column criticizing Tommy's teacher for staging a drastically rewritten politically correct version of Moby Dick; Shel and Kenny are dubious about taking Eric to an exclusive nightclub.

Playdate With a Playmate

After Shel displays the new edition of Playboy in which the centerfold confesses that one of her lifelong ambitions is to meet Dave, the meeting is arranged but doesn't turn out exactly the way Dave and the guys envisioned it. Entertainment Tonight reporter Mark Steines guest stars as himself, covering the meeting between the Playmate and Dave. Dave's growing-by-the-minute ego is deflated, however, when, upon meeting the Playmate, he realizes that she is passionate about his writing not about him and that she views him as a father figure. Meanwhile, Shel, Kenny and Eric trip all over themselves trying to impress her.

Spontaneous Combustion

Kenny encourages Shel to be more spontaneous -and Shel foolishly takes his advice. Meanwhile, Dave and Beth's hanky-panky in the car sends them straight to traffic school. Trying to embrace the ability to live impulsively, Kenny convinces Shel to go on a last minute cruise and Shel ends up married by the time the boat docks. Arriving back from the cruise married, Shel is distraught when he hears from his new wife's attorney, fearing that she may take him to the cleaners. Meanwhile, Dave and Beth end up at a very strict traffic school, where they are cited for a ""moving violation"" of an intimate nature in their car.

Dave Barry, Call Your Agent

Dave finds out that his agent, Irving Bloom, has died and that Bloom's widow, Mel, is taking over the client list, much to his surprise. Bea Arthur plays Mel Bloom, the new agent, in the first of three guest-starring appearances. Talk show host Wink Martindale appears as himself. Dave finds himself missing his old agent when Mel goes into overdrive promoting Dave scheduling him with publicity interviews, talk shows and book fairs to publicize Barry Picking, his new book. Dave, however, didn't have a clue that he wrote a new book

Touched By an Agent

Mel, Dave's aggressive new agent, has the Barry household spinning both physically and mentally when she sends Dave into New York for a PR tour and lands Willie a television commercial much to Beth's chagrin. Bea Arthur plays Mel Bloom, the new agent, in the second of three guest-starring appearances. Talk show host Roy Firestone appears as himself, as does singer Pat Boone, who has recently released a new heavy metal CD, In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy. In the green room prior to his appearance on the Roy Firestone talk show, Dave is anxious and nervous and decides to try joke material out on fellow guest Pat Boone. The situation becomes even more nerve-racking when Pat, who goes on the air first, then aces Dave by using the jokes. Meanwhile, Beth, who was reluctant to have Willie do the commercial, becomes angry with Mel when it backfires.

Bad News Barry's

A publishing party at the Barrys' home, coordinated by Dave's new agent, Mel, links Dave to a dead mobster and thrusts him into the seedy world of tabloid publicity. After a photo of Dave with Carlo ""The Body Bag"" Lorenz, which was taken at the party, appears on the front page of the Miami newspapers when Carlo is found dead the next day, the Barry household gets a taste of life in the public eye. Meanwhile, the bad publicity rubs off on Shel when the bookmobile he sponsored is highjacked and taken on a crime spree.

Liar's Poker

A call from an old college classmate whom Dave despised reveals a long-hidden truth about Dave and Beth's dating history. When Dave, Beth, Kenny and Shel engage in their usual game of poker, the art of bluffing becomes more personal than usual. During the course of the poker game, Dave discovers that Beth, Kenny and Shel have been sharing a secret since their college days about a past fling Beth had with an old college flame. Feeling slightly betrayed, Dave ends up pulling off the ultimate bluff.

Testing . . . Testing . . .

After Dave volunteers to take care of the family by himself so Beth can study without interruptions, he has to fly solo and deal with a variety of problems including Kenny's request for a loan of $2,000, Tommy's radical new hairdo and a pony in the backyard. Dave struggles to keep each ""event"" from Beth so she can focus on studying for an important exam. Meanwhile, Kenny's friendship with Shel is strained when Shel refuses to lend him the money to try his hand as a concert promoter.

Tropical Depression

Kenny auditions for a job as a weatherman. Meanwhile, Shel's investments bring him a substantial windfall; then he learns the truth about his shady accountant.

Oh Dad, Poor Dad

Shel has a hard time 'fessing up to his visiting high-maintenance daughter Carly that most of his money is gone. Instead of telling his daughter the truth, Shel tries to hide his financial situation from her by buying her a new wardrobe and a new car and renting a beach house. Meanwhile, Eric ""adjusts"" Beth's neck, which results in her becoming bedridden, and Kenny decides to get a dog, since they are such ""babe magnets,"" and ends up stuck in his apartment when his new canine, ""Bunny,"" turns out to be an attack dog.

A Woman of Independent Seams

After Eric accidentally sells Beth's wedding dress during their garage sale, Dave thinks Beth is upset for sentimental reasons, but the truth is she had $300 hidden in the dress. No matter how Beth tries to explain, Dave still doesn't understand why his wife has a secret slush fund. Meanwhile, Dave confesses to Mia that her high school idol, erotic romance novelist Letitia DeVore, is actually a pseudonym -- for Dave Barry.

Let Simmer, Then Grill

Dave and Beth investigate the reason the FBI wants to speak with them, but it turns out they're looking for information on Shel; Mia courts a job with the NBA's Miami Heat.

The Creeping Peril

When a giant sinkhole threatens to destroy the Barry house, the entire family evacuates to Shel's. Forced to flee on a moment's notice, Dave and Beth must choose what is most important to them. Meanwhile, Shel the consummate bachelor tries to make his pad more family friendly.